We recieved news on Monday from UAB that the amnio confirmed what we had been told from the start. Sophie has a fatal chromosomal abnormality. I have actually dealt with the news better than I thought. Carlton has had a harder time this week. Looking at the amnio papers with all the little photocopies of her chromosones puts everything into reality. This is not a bad nightmare, its real. I have come to terms with it, and now I am beginning to enjoy every little minute I have her with me. I know this time is precious and I am determined to enjoy all the time I have with her. Only God knows when it is time for Sophie to be back in His arms, so we are trusting in His perfect timing. Carlton and I will begin in the next few weeks to start working on a birth plan. We want to make sure all the nurses are aware of just how we want things. Dr. Daniel has been more than a doctor. He has become a very close friend and prayer warrior for our family. I have never known a doctor like him. His love for the Lord is evident each time we meet and pray with him. He has been a rock for us. He is going to be right there with us through the entire pregnancy and birth. He is going to make sure all of our requests are followed closely, as we will only have a short amount of time and we want all of Sophie's time spent with us and our immediate family.
Last night, I picked up the book that we are reading in our Tuesday morning Mom's Bible Study. I haven't been able to go for the past 3 weeks, so I took a wild guess that they were reading chapter 6 this week. I flipped open the book and the title of the chapter 6 was "God Never Makes a Mistake." So, I propped myself up in my bed because it was obvious I needed to read this chapter...tonight! At the beginning of each chapter is a "chapter verse". It read,"Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right." 1 Peter 4:19. What comfort came while I was reading this...to know that my suffering is the will of God. As Christians, we are not promised a life free of suffering. But, we can have the assurance that God has allowed our suffering and it is for a specific reason. This is not a "fluke" or some random cosmic event, God ordained this before the foundation of the world. This is not a surprise to Him. He is using this to shape and mold us. He is using Sophie to bring others to Him. It's all about God and His glory. And I am happy with that. God is God and I trust in His soveriegn plan over my life. I will close this week with the words to a song we sang in church Sunday. The words never struck me like they did this past Sunday.
"Its all about you... Jesus.
And all this is for you, for your glory and your name.
It's not about me.
As if you should do things my way.
You alone are God, and I surrender... to your ways."
Continue to pray for us. Your prayers are helping us get through each day. Thank you again for all your precious cards and comments on our blog. We are keeping all our blog posts and comments/cards/letters/e-mails in a binder so we will have them many years from now. I will try to post again soon.
Love, Aimee and family