I wanted to get these picture up quicker, but our family has been hit with the flu! YUK! We all (except HG) came down with it on Thursday. I am feeling better today, just a little weak. I am still trying to figure out how to post a power point slide show....ughh technology! If anyone knows how, please help!
We really had a great time this past week just being together. Carlton and I both slept about 12 hours a night for 3 days. Sweet little Hannah Grace would wake up and take care of Noah, I think they watched waaaaay too much TV...and they ate complete junk food for breakfast, but hey, who cares. It was really great to get away. It was even better to come home (especially being sick) to a CLEAN house. Thank you Grace Fellowship women for cleaning my house and stocking my freezer with food. Ya'll really went above and beyond!
So, you ask, How am I doing? - Honestly, I have good moments and really low moments. I really struggle at night. Its weird, it gets dark outside, and I start getting a lot of anxiety. Its in these moments that I really have to cling to God's word and pray, pray, pray. I honestly have to say, I never expected it to be this hard. While I was pregnant, I thought that once she was born, I would be able (to some extent) to grieve and move on. Boy, was I wrong. How I wish she was back in my belly! My body literally aches to hold her, to have her with me. Selfishly, I want her back! But, in my heart, I know she is with her precious Savior and is happy. I told my mom, I feel like I have turned into an old woman. You know, old people, they sit around and long for heaven. Now, heaven seems so sweet and wonderful. How wonderful it will be to hold my daughter again and most of all, wrap my arms aroung my Savior who has carried me faithfully through this trial. As hard as this road was and is... I know He will reach out His hands to me and say "Well done, my child." And all the heartache and suffering will be worth it, just to be able to hear those words.
I have so much more to write, but that is all for now. Back to the bed to eat more crackers and watch yet another makeover episode on TLC. UGH...
I am working on the other blog this week. Hopefully, I will have it up by the end of the week. This blog will journal our adoption and it will also be a place for me to journal my thoughts.
I hope you enjoy these precious pictures of our little girl. She was more beautiful than I ever imagined.